Comedy Duo
by EgoistFan85
Summary: It's Kaito and Len! Doing what they do best (at least in my view)… being totally hilarious!
1. Who puts a horse in the Girl's Bathroom?

**Author's Note: Hey, peoples! Welcome to Comedy Duo. I've had this idea for who knows how long. And believe when I say that I think Kaito and Len are VERY funny together. So before I begin, I do NOT own Vocaloid. It belongs to... well... whoever owns it. So enjoy.**

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Chapter 1: WHO PUTS A HORSE IN THE GIRL'S BATHROOM?!

Kaito and Len layed across the living room, bored out of their minds. Kaito had a date with Miku and, but that was hours from now and he and Len wanted something to do other than eat ice cream and bananas, play video games or look at Girl's Swimsuit Magazines (A/N: Courtesy of Kaito XD!).

"Kaito," Len said. "What do you want to do?"

"Dunno," Kaito replied. "Give me another swimsuit magazine."

"Get ready for your date with Miku."

"It's 2:00pm. Our table is available at 6pm. Besides, I want to make this date really special."

"Are you going to propose?"

Kaito suddenly sat up, clearly offended. "Of course not! We only started dating 3 months ago. Plus, we're underage."

Suddenly, Kaito's cellphone started ringing. He picked it up and answered it. "Hello?"

"Hey, Kaito. It's Meiko."

"Mei-chan, hey. How's it going? Excuse me for a second." Kaito put his hand over the speaker and turned to Len. "It's Meiko."

Len suddenly sat up. "Sakine. Oh, this should be interesting."

Kaito uncovered the speaker. "So what's up, Mei-chan?" he asked Meiko.

"Okay, remember that project that Kiyoteru assigned us? About how we have to bring in a live animal so we can describe how they benefit the environment? Well, I finally managed to get you guys a horse," Meiko told him. "Just meet me at the barn near your house. No, your 'house.'" She made the quote marks with her fingers.

The Vocaloid cast went to an academy for school. When they first transferred, they were either offered a dorm or a fraternity house. Out of all the Vocaloid cast, Kaito and Len were the only ones living off campus. Kaito wanted a dorm so he could be closer to Miku, but he gave in because Len thought that having their own place would be "so awesome".

"All right, we'll be there in 5 minutes."

When they got to the barn, sure enough, Meiko was waiting for them. Beside her was the tallest horse Kaito and Len had ever seen. The horse was brown with a black mane.

"That... is a huge horse," Len said.

"Yep. And take care of him. He's your only horse," Meiko told them.

"Stupid Kiyoteru. I don't see why he wants us to bring in live animals. No, why do Kaito and I have to get a horse and you have to get a frog?" Len asked.

"Don't you remember, Len? He chose our animals randomly," Meiko reminded him.

Kaito pulled out his cellphone and checked the time. "Holy crap, it's 5:30! I need to get ready for my date! Miku is waiting for me! If I don't get to the restaurant by 6, they're gonna give my table away!"

"Why can't you just go in what you're wearing right now?" Len asked.

"And you need to put your horse somewhere. If you keep him here, then you're gonna have to give the guy who owns this barn 1000 yen* for rent," Meiko told him. "So you need to put him somewhere else. What about your house?"

"No," Len said.

"Why not?"

"Because that's Kaito's and my place to relax. What about in front of the Academy?"

"Len, that's stupid and that's loitering."

"I've got a suggestion," Len said. "Why don't we keep him near that restaurant? Not inside the restaurant, but in a storage room or something?"

"Sure, the restaurant has a garage," Kaito said. "Put the horse in there."

And so, Kaito went to put on nicer clothes, while Len and Meiko went to the restaurant's garage to put the horse there for the time being.

_Later..._

Kaito and Miku were clearly enjoying themselves during their date. Kaito was wearing a black variation of his usually white coat and his signature blue scarf with black pants and shoes. Miku was wearing a black evening gown that reached to her knees and ankle-high sandals. Everything was going fine... until Kaito heard a neighing sound.

"_Oh, crap, tell me I did NOT just hear that stupid horse!_" Kaito thought to himself.

"Kaito," Miku asked. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Miku," Kaito told her. "Can you excuse me for a minute?"

Kaito dashed toward the restaurant's entrance, took out his cellphone and dialed Len's number. It took a while, but eventually Len picked up.

"Hello?"

"Len, where did you put our horse?!"

"Oh yeah, I was just gonna call you about that. The garage in that restaurant you're in is full, so I put it in the next best place: the ladies' bathroom."

"WHAT?!" Kaito yelled. "Why would you put it there? If somebody goes in there, they're gonna freak out and run!"

Kaito couldn't have been more right, because as soon as he was done speaking, a BUSLOAD of women were running out of the ladies' bathroom. There were screams of "HORSE! HORSE!" in the air.

Miku, who had heard the commotion, rushed toward Kaito. "Kaito, what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to get a horse out of the girls' bathroom and thinking of ways to murder Len."

"A horse?! What's a horse doing in the bathroom?!"

"It's for a project assigned by Hiyama. I had to put it there because the garage here was full. I don't know how I'm going to get it out of the bathroom without making a scene."

Miku laughed. "It's fine. I'll get it." She bravely walked into the girls' restroom and in a few minutes, she arrived with the horse following behind.

Though, by leading the horse out of the bathroom, the entire restaurant, even the staff, flew into a panic and there was screaming in the air.

"Now that the horse is out of the bathroom, there's only one thing left to do," Kaito said.

He climbs atop the horse and offers his hand to Miku.

"Well, are you coming?"

Miku laughs and takes his hand. Kaito pulls her up and she settles on the horse, who starts to trot out of the restaurant.

As the horse starts to pick up the pace, Kaito asks Miku, "That was a first for you, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, I'll have to admit that," Miku replied.

_The next day… _

Kaito and Len had arrived late at the Vocal Academy. At that time, Miku and Neru had presented their cat, Rin brought in a dog and Meiko presented her frog. After Gumi's presentation of a crab she found, it was Kaito's and Len's turn.

Kaito and Len looked at each other and gulped. Then, they got up from their seats and walked toward the front, when...

"Mr. Shion! Mr. Kagamine! Wait a moment!"

Upon hearing Kiyoteru's voice, Kaito and Len froze.

"You two will not be presenting your animal. I've already seen it on the news and that's good enough for me. However, the restaurant will possibly be pressing charges."

"The horse was on the news?!" Kaito shouted.

"The restaurant's pressing charges?!" Len shouted.

"Yes and possibly," Kiyoteru said. "Now, you two relied on Ms. Sakine for the horse. That results in a deduction of 5 points. You didn't prepare a written report. 10 point deduction. And that gives you two a 60%. A D."

Kaito glared at Len and Len facepalmed.

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***pants* Well, that was longer than usual.**

***1000 yen=$9.87**

**End of Chapter 1. Hope you enjoyed! :)**


	2. Two Idiots Dining and Dashing

**Dine and Dash! Dine and Dash! Dine and Dash! It's the Dine and Dash chapter! "People, we are on a dine and dash here!" Heh, did you like the That 70's Show reference? I told you that I have an obsession, but I don't want to try it because I don't want to get arrested!**

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Chapter 2: Two Idiots Dining and Dashing

The final bell rang throughout the Academy and all of the Vocaloids rushed out of the school, among them being Kaito and Len. Once Kaito and Len escaped the crown and went to their house, Kaito went straight to the freezer and made himself a scoop of ice cream. Len went to the couch, turned on the TV and started channel-surfing. He stopped when he landed on a commercial with a banana breakdancing to hip-hop music.

"Len," Kaito yelled. "Change the channel. This commercial is gay."

"No, this is my favorite commercial," Len replied.

"Change the channel!"

"Fine." Len kept channel-surfing until he landed on another commercial. This time, it was about a restaurant.

"_Come down to La Tarde, where we have everything from award-winning breakfasts to zesty 5-star dinners. Wanna make a reservation? Just call 1-800-037-2859. La Tarde. More atmosphere than the normal idiot._"

Len turned off the TV.

"Kaito! We have _got _to go there! I heard that those guys have an awesome fried banana dish," Len said.

"_La_ _Tarde_?" Kaito asked. "Oh, that restaurant was on the news the other day! Some blond elf guy threw a beer mug at some blue-haired guy! They lost a star for that." He started to laugh.

"Stop laughing! I don't care about any bar fight! I wanna go to that restaurant and try their fried banana!" Len jumped off the couch and ran out the door to _La Tarde_.

"Len! What the heck is this?! Oh, for the love of-!"

_At the restaurant..._

Len helped himself to the fried banana dish. And boy, was it delicious. Even though it was fried, the banana still retained its beautiful banana flavor.

"LEN!"

Kaito walked towards Len's table.

"Kaito, what are you doing here?" Len asked. "If you want fried banana, order your own."

"I don't want any freaking fried banana," Kaito said. "Look, don't run off like that! You scared the living crap out of me!"

"Sorry about that, Kaito," Len replied. He took a few last bites out of his fried banana and stood and started walking toward the door, though, Kaito stopped him halfway there.

"Len, what are you doing?" Kaito asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm going back to our house," Len replied.

"Dude, you need to pay first."

Len starts laughing. "I'm not paying. Kaito, the two of us are on a dine and dash here."

"Len, I'm not kidding! We need to pay! We're going to go to jail and we just barely got out of court last time and we don't know what the total came down to! What do we do?!" He started to look for someone to help them pay their enormous bill.

"Oh please, the total can't be that high."

Just then, the waitress came to the table with something in her hand.

"Kagamine-san, here is your bill," the waitress said, handing Len the bill.

Though, upon opening the bill, Kaito and Len's jaws dropped.

"Oh man... 51229 yen?!* Len, how many fried bananas did you eat?"

"Well, um, I don't know... I ate, like, ten of those."

"Len, you idiot! Why did you eat 10 fried banana?"

"THEY WERE SO GOOD!"

"Look over there." Kaito pointed at the bar. Over there, Haku had her head down on the bar with a sake bottle in her hand, while Dell had one hand on her back and his other hand holding a cigarette.

"There's Yowane-san and Dell! Maybe they can pay our bill."

Kaito and Len run to the bar, where they meet Haku and Dell.

"Dell, can we talk to Yowane-san?" Len asked.

Dell rolled his eyes. "Oh sure, you talk to her and see what happens...," he said sarcastically. He took another drag on his cigarette.

Len walked over to Haku and tapped her shoulder.

"Oh, OH, why did you run out on me, baby?" Haku slurred.

"Yowane-san," Kaito said. "You're drunk."

"Kaito," Haku said. "You're sexy."

Kaito blushed while Len tried to get her attention."Haku, can you pay for our..."

Kaito prods Len's shoulder.

"Fine, can you please pay for _my _dessert?"

Even though Haku was drunk, she managed to grab the bill. Though, upon opening the bill, she immediately dropped it and collapsed onto the floor.

"It's official, we're dead," Kaito said.

"Well, since no one will pay our bill, there's only one thing that we can do," Len said, winking at Kaito.

Kaito stood up. "Fine."

"If anything happens, tell Rin I wore her clothes to school," Len said.

"What?"

"One..."

"Two..."

"Three!"

"BANZAI!"

The two of them dashed out of _La Tarde _as fast as they could.

_The next day..._

Kaito woke up early and started channel-surfing. Nothing looked good on TV, until he stopped on the news.

"_Last night, a successful dine and dash was made by Vocaloid Academy students Kaito Shion and Kagamine Len. While the restaurant in question, La Tarde, decide not to press charges on the two young men, the restaurant, unfortunately, lost yet another star due to their dine and dash. This officially makes La Tarde a 3-star restaurant, after the beer mug incident and the dine and dash. In other news today, a 9 year old girl named Kaai Yuki has recently..."_

Kaito turned off the TV.

"LEN!"

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**There, now we know what happened after Link threw a beer mug at Marth. Though, should I really be mentioning that in a Vocaloid fic? *waits* Oh, well. No harm done. I ask again, did you enjoy the That 70's Show reference? I hope you did. **

***51229 yen= $499.99**

***Yowane-san= Ms. Yowane**

**Hope you enjoyed! :)**


	3. Gangnam Style is still pretty popular

**Well, it's been a while, but it's good to be back. And for my dear readers, I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving, Christmas and a happy new year. Happy 2014, peoples! Before we begin, I don't own Gangnam Style, PSY does. Thumbs up if you still like it, even though it's 2 years old now. *waits* Huh... well, enjoy Chapter 3. **

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Chapter 3: Gangnam Style is still pretty popular

Kaito bobbed his head in time with the song he was listening to on his MP3 player, Gangnam Style to be exact. It was the new trend in town these days. And he especially liked the fact that the signature dance moves were akin to riding horses. Pausing the song on his MP3, he looked around the house to see if he was really alone.

Upon realizing that he was _completely _alone, he plugged his MP3 player into the radio and played the song.

"_Oppa Gangnam Style_!"

Kaito started to do the signature moves, pumping his fist in the air, while a big grin was plastered on his face. "_I can do this all day,_" he thought to himself...

Unfortunately, Kaito didn't hear the door opening and Len's "I'm home" as the latter walked in on him during the elevator bit. Upon realizing that Len was home, Kaito immediately removed his MP3 player from the radio.

"I was NOT doing anything while you were gone," Kaito lied, most unconvincingly.

"Liar, I saw what you were doing," Len said. "You were dancing with yourself."

"So, what's wrong with that? It just proves that I'm sexy." Kaito grabbed a pair of headphones and plugged them into his MP3 player, listening to the song once more. "Man, Gangnam Style is awesome. Why can't we just do the moves all day?"

"Because if we did, our legs would be really sore," Len replied.

"I don't want to hear that coming from a guy who hasn't even tried it yet."

"Oh, and you've tried it before, Kaito? Oh wait, you were doing it when I got home."

"Shut up, Len. Anyways, what's for dinner?"

Len got up and looked in the refrigerator. "Okay... we have some fried banana here. Want some?"

"Len, for _dinner_."

"Fine. There's some nimono*, cereal, some rice bowls and some of that sake that Haku gave us."

"Sake? Remind me to give that back to her, will you? Okay, let's eat some nimono, Len."

And so, the two boys sat down and ate their dinner. Though, _while _they ate, a plan started to form in Kaito's head, recalling his earlier question of _"Why can't we just do the moves all day_?"

After they finished, while Len went upstairs to take a hot bath, Kaito slipped out of the house, unnoticed.

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_The next day..._

When Len entered the classroom and took his seat, he noticed that Kaito wasn't sitting next to him. He looked behind said desk, where Miku and Neru were laughing at something funny. "Miku," Len called out.

Miku and Neru's laughter abruptly stopped. "Huh? What is it, Len?" Miku asked.

"Where's Kaito?"

"I don't know, Len. I haven't seen him since yesterday. Have you seen him?"

"No."

"I saw him yesterday. He was shopping for these weird clothes," Neru piped.

"WHAAAAT?!" Len and Miku shouted in unison.

"He was shopping for clothes. I didn't know see what kind of clothes they were, though," Neru said.

Suddenly, the door opened and in walked Kaito, followed closely by Leon. Though upon seeing them, Kaito in particular, the jaws of everyone in the room dropped.

Kaito Shion had underwent a transformation in the past 24 hours. Instead of wearing his usual attire, he was wearing a black suit and white shows, his blue hair was dyed black. It was also noted that he was carrying a stereo. Leon was wearing a yellow suit

"K-Kaito," Miku stammered. "W-What h-happened to y-you?"

"You even brought Leon into this?" Len asked. "Kaito, you idiot!"

Kaito and Leon nod to each other and the former turned on the stereo. The all familiar tune started to play.

"_Oppa Gangnam Style! Gangnam Style!_"

"What is he doing?" Miku asked Len.

"Making a fool out of himself. That's what." Len replied. He got up from his chair and rushed to the front of the room.

"Kaito, what the heck are you doing?!"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Kaito said while dancing. "I'm gonna do these moves all day. Why don't you join me?"

"Kaito... What if Kiyoteru catches us?" Len asked.

"No worries. Al's watching out for Leon and I. Again, do you want to join me?"

As they were speaking, the main chorus was drawing near.

"Hurry! Are we going to do this or not?!"

"Fine!" Len takes off his shirt and got into position.

"_Oppa Gangnam Style_!"

Kaito, Len and Leon pumped their fists in the air while the people started cheering. Suddenly, Kaito stopped and looked at Leon.

"Leon, you're not in this part yet. Sheesh, we should've have gotten Mei-chan, Miku and Neru into this. They would've made good dancers," Kaito said.

"What?! I like this song as much as you do. I deserve a part in this, too." Leon yelled.

"You know what? Leon, you're fired! Take off the yellow suit and get out!"

Leon started to take off the suit.

"Wait! Not here!"

"GAH! Sorry!" Leon rushed out of the classroom while Kaito and Len continued to dance.

Unfortunately, during the Elevator Scene, Kaito and Len were unaware that Kiyoteru was about to enter the room. When he did come in, he froze in his tracks. And when Len saw him, he quickly walked over Kaito and quickly scrambled for his shirt.

"MR. KAGAMINE! MR. SHION! WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU TWO DOING!

Kaito notices Kiyoteru and frantically tried to rush to his desk, but Kiyoteru grabs Kaito's shoulder.

"Mr. Shion, just what were you doing just now?"

"Umm... everybody's favorite song?"

"Mr. Shion, come with me."

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**Kaito got busted for once. LOL! The story would get boring if only Len got in trouble. XD!**

**Anyways, sorry for the... year long wait. First, it was stress, then it was the holidays. But I have been working on this chapter. Just... now too often. Oh, and no flames for this chapter. I still like Gangnam Style (PSY owns, not me) even though it's 2 years old now and I'm sure other people do too. Just, no flames. Please.**

***Nimono- Simmered vegetables**

**Hope you enjoyed :)**


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